It doesn’t matter what you call it. It doesn’t matter
how you did it. Crystal meth brought us to our knees, because,
without exception, that’s what it does. Is crystal meth
a problem in your life? Are you an addict? Only you can answer
those questions. For most of us who have admitted defeat, the
answer is very clear. Yes, we had a problem with speed, and
no, we couldn’t fix the problem by ourselves. We had
to admit defeat to win. Speed was our master.
We couldn’t control our drug use. What started out as
weekend or occasional use became daily use, and we soon found
ourselves beyond human aid. We truly suffered from a lack of
power to fix our problem. Some of us used crystal meth as a
tool to work harder and longer, but we couldn’t keep a
job. Others picked at their faces and arms for hours and hours
or pulled out their hair. Some of us had uncontrollable sexual
desire. Others endlessly tinkered with projects, accomplishing
nothing, but found ourselves so busy we couldn’t get to
work on time.
We deluded ourselves into thinking that staying up for nights
on end was OK, that our tweaking was under control, and that
we could quit if we wanted to, or that we couldn’t afford
to quit, or that our using didn’t affect our lives. Maybe
we saw a friend go to jail, or lose their apartment, or lose
their job, or lose the trust of their family, or die, but our
clouded minds wouldn’t admit we were next.
Most of us saw no way out, believing that we would use until
the day we died. Almost universally, if we had an honest moment,
we found that our drug use made seemingly insurmountable problems
in our lives. The only way out was if we had the courage to admit
that crystal meth, our one time friend, was killing us.
It doesn’t matter how you got here. The courts sent some
of us; others came for family or friends, and some of us came
to CMA on our own. The question is if you want help and are willing
to go to any lengths to change your life.
